Thoughts while shitting

I don't have time to write, but the words want to come out of me. I'm drowning in words full of feelings. What was that that made me start wondering if I like her or not. Where did all the freedom go? 

So it was like at the moment she started making me compromise, I started worrying about and stop enjoy around. 

Or was it just yesterday that I was stressed out, or was it since she showed me her ex-boyfriend and told me that she had something more serious with him than with me that made me feel jealous. But why I didn't realize that she loves me now. Why I'm even worrying about this?

Ok, it might seem like something as stupid as my roommate would talk about, but I'm feeling weird with her, or with me, or I don't know. 

We were tired, and when tireness comes, the feelings go away. 

She showed me her ex and I felt like she was just with me because she didn't have other option. 

Should I just run away?

Do I just need time to myself? 

Meditation will Definetly help....

Erikaka, don't you ever tell me that crap again

Yesteray, you looked at me with those blue eyes. I said you were an amazing girl. You didn't believe me. 

Yesterday, I could see how tired and sad you were. Your eyes looked confused, and then you said something that broke my heart "even I know that they don't deserve me." 

Girl, I hate to give opinions about love. I have broken a couple of hearts this past months, but because of that, I have learned to understand that love is only perceived with honesty with yourself and others, is only built by giving away our time to others, and it only feels like freedom and happiness. 

Yesterday seeing you that sad, broke my heart. 

I couldn't understand why such an amazing girl as you, couldn't see how great you are.

Because let me tell you, every single man in the world would fall in love with you. 

Erikaka, don't you ever tell me that crap again. You are worth every single second of everyone's life.

And I bet that when you look yourself at the mirror, you lack to see the child's innocence that your blue eyes have.

Wake up Erikaka! 

You are a unique girl, don't you ever tell me that again.

Because behind that gold color hair, those blue eyes, and that white skin, there is a girl that finds joy in every little thing, there is a girl that sees the world around her like if it was her first time on earth, and there is a girl who tells hundreds of stories per day. 

Wake up Erikaka, and fall in love with yourself. 

Run around, kick the yellow leaves laying on the floor from the fall, go to the campus lake and start dancing I want to break free by Queens. Be free. Freedom is in your essence. 

Bring back that smile that dissapeared a couple of weeks ago. 

Wake up Erikaka, look at the mirror and see how wonderful you are. Because only when you start loving yourself, you can start loving others. Only when you can start loving yourself, you will feel the freedom that comes along with love. 

Wake up Erikaka, don't you ever tell me that crap again...

You are a wonderful girl.