Look deep inside to reach the sky and beyond

Sunday, 6:00 pm

"Stream line of consciousness writting" it means write whatever comes to your mind as fast as you can until you feel in peace with yourself. 

This is what I got from that exercise that I learned in creative process class.

"I just have that need to create. Is not about whether is beautiful or not, it is just about creating and knowing what inspired you to create. 

Humans are made to create. That is why it feels so good to do art. Because art is creating; art is giving live to an idea. Art is giving life to our feelings, our thoughts, our experiences, and our imagination. 

Writting connects me with my inner self, with my passions, with my little child hidden withinh me who wispers me quietly but constantly the most important things in life, even though I lack to listen to him many times, from Monday to Saturday.

And the comes Sunday, with it's Sunday night depression, which is only my inner child yelling out loud to follow mi heart. 

And the more I ignore him, the louder he yells at me "Lucas!! Follow you dream, follow your heart!" 

And the more I ignore him, the louder he gets, until I end up sitting here with a playlist of classical music playing on spotify, with me headphones on, a pen, and a white sheet of paper.

The more I ignore him, because of homework, or because I want to see that  girl that got me crazy, the more aware I become that he is always there.

And when finally I listen to him, put on my headphones with classical music and start writting my heart out, he starts dancing withinh me. 

Like a child doing something for the first time. 

And he is always there, waiting for me to let him dance. Waiting for me to make me happy. 

He appears when I do my best and connect my body with my heart and my soul. 

He appears when I swim my heart out and give my best in the 4x100 free relay and beat the guy right next to me.

He appears when I meditate, he appears when I kiss her, he appears when I sit in this chair and write my heart out.

He appears when I do something that I love.

He appears and dances to make me happy. 

Look deep inside you, listen closely to your inner child who is always there whispering to follow what you love but you lack to listen to him because you have many things going on in your mind.

Look deep inside you, listen to your inner child and let him dance for you.

Look deep inside you to reach the sky and beyond.

 feeling of just wanting to get the words out of your mind to fill it up with more thoughts. 

I'm in love, I have to confess it.

4:36pm

"North Carolina, such a beautiful girl"

I heard that from my friend. Who wrote that sentence? I have no clue.

The sky is always blue, 

And the weather is just right.

Sunshine, red sunset, and the sun is always bright.

Am I in love with life? 

Yes sir, yes I am.

Is this poem cheesy? 

Yes sir, yes it it.

Silence. Enjoyment 

4:58 pm 

I'm laying on the grass, wearing surf shorts on winter, and laghing by myself. 

Life is an adventure, just open your eyes.

Leigh Ann said in her blog, the key of being happy is enjoying the little things, like laying on the grass under the blue sky.

And I add on to what she wrote in her blog: the key of enjoying something as little as it could be, from swiping a deck, to studying, to swimming, to having sex, to drawing, to singing, to whatever you can imagine, is being fully engaged in that moment. With all your senses in it.

Like writing this blog with a beautiful sunset reflected in my face.

Or there. In that future "here", in that future "now"

Wherever it it, under the sky, and above the ground. Surrounded by many little things that happen all at once.

Life, such a beautiful girl your are. I'm in love with you.

Heaven is in the water

In between one stroke and the other, 

The battle between the mind and the body started to take off.

6x400s and I was feeling strong. 

15 seconds rest, and leave on the top of the clock.

Push off the wall, one, two, three strokes and my body stopped working.

9x400s more to go

Holy shit...

And the inner dialog started again in my mind, keeping me out of focus, keeping me out of the time interval.

One, two, three, more strokes.

Now Jerome, a teammate, lapped me.

Holy shit...

And when I finally found the inspiration to motivate myself and go hard again, my body was crashed down and Tripp, another teammate, lapped me. 

Damn... The hardest practice of my life. 

Missed the interval by one second. 

Touch with the right hand, take a deep breath, and push off the wall again. 

6 more 400s

The body starts using all of it's energy, and the only thing that keeps you going is the your own determination to be your best and the fear of being the first one in the team to quit the practice.

5 more 400s 

Three, two, one, go 

Couple of dolphin kicks underwater, and here we go again.  

It feels in the borderline between heaven and hell.

Hell from all the pain, heaven because everything is more bright, more colorful, and even though your body is crashed down, you feel powerful.

Right at that moment between life and death, is when you start knowing yourself. 

15x400 That set. That freaking set.

 Heaven is the water...

A letter to my teammates

I don't want this to sound cheesy but...

I think this past two days I have been the happiest person on earth. This past two days have been full of learning experiences and inspiring moments from you guys.

One day like three years ago, An old teacher told me once that everything in this world is written before we are even born.  I don't really know about that. However,

Looking backwards, it actually seems it was written that someone would put a bowl full of foil in fire by the side of the road in the middle of no where burning a tree. 

It seems like everything was set up so I had to pee, get off my bike, look down to get it out and then see a bowl with fire burning a tree. 

It seems that everything was set up so that day I was stupid enough to kick that bowl and burn my leg. Right before conference. 

The worst thing wasn't the pain, the worst thing was writing an e-mail to Kirk telling him that I wouldn't be able to practice for some weeks. 

I was heartbroken, I couldn't stop thinking about conference and that I would let me team down. That was worst than the pain in my leg.

That night, my mom told me that everything happens for a reason and I should learn from it.

first I thought that life was trying to teach me I shouldn't kick something that is in fire, but then, victoria told me after practice that maybe god was trying to teach me that I could over come anything. 

So damn true...

And yesterday while riding the van coming to Florida, with the sky full of clouds, and watching sofi singing and dancing "wave after wave" I stared to feel the happiest person on earth.

And while singing along with her, I zoned out and remembered what my grandma told me the day before traveling to US, once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. 

And the morning after saying bye to my grandma, even though the doctors had said I wouldn't be able to be in US before the third of January, I made the decision to limp my way to that freaking plane and make it happen. 

And there I was yesterday, looking through the windows unsuccessfully  trying to look for license plate from Delaware, singing "wave after wave" with sofí, and watching the universe conspire in my favor. 

Maybe burning my leg was just a coincidence, however watching you guys from the deck working hard in the pool gives me hope and brings back my dreams of being conference champions one more time even though queens is favorite this year. That, makes me want to work my ass off in dry land.

Maybe it was good I burned my leg,

Maybe...not everything is written in life, and instead we are the ones who write our own story on the white pages of the present moment.  

I didn't want to make this sound cheesy, and I don't know how this can be taken as a journal entry, but I feel inspired by this team. I feel something special is going on here.

Let's go after it, and let's let the universe conspire in our favor so we can make it happen.

Love,

Lucas